There’s a concept we talk about at The Helm frequently – it’s called content vs. context.
In other words, when dealing with a challenging situation, it’s not what’s happening—it’s how you’re showing up to what’s happening– that is likely causing the pain.
We’ve all been there.
The deal falls apart at the closing table.
A client ghosts you after three showings.
Your top producer just left for another brokerage.
The facts are the facts. That’s the content.
But what you bring into that moment—your mindset, your stories, your interpretations, your reactions? That’s the context.
And that context shapes everything.
The invisible layer we miss
I think of context as the invisible lens we wear. It’s colored by our past experiences. Our insecurities. Our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world.
Here’s an example that might feel relatable: Imagine losing a big listing you’d been sure you secured. The seller went with a flashier agent from a competitor brokerage.
The content?
You didn’t get the listing.
But the context you might bring?
- “I’ll never be able to compete with these big-name agents.”
- “I’m too old.”
- “I’m too young.”
- “My marketing isn’t good enough.”
That context doesn’t just sting—it can paralyze you.
You may pull back from prospecting. Or stop following up with warm leads. You might shrink.
But when you separate the content from the context, it becomes less emotional.
The fact was simple: you didn’t get this listing.
The story you layered on top? Entirely optional.
When you shift the context to:
- “This seller wasn’t my ideal client.”
- “There’s something to learn about how I position myself.”
- “I’ve won listings like this before—and I’ll win again.”
Everything changes. You keep moving forward and showing up with fresh energy and confidence.
Why this matters in real estate leadership
In real estate, it’s easy to blame the market, the client, the team, the leads, the industry.
But if we want to lead consciously, we have to pause and ask:
- What’s the actual content here?
- And what’s the context I’m layering onto it?
Because when we confuse the two, we get stuck. We lash out at the wrong thing. We miss the opportunity to shift our own energy.
One of the most powerful things I’ve learned from conscious leadership is this: we are responsible for our context.
Not in a blame-yourself way. But in an empowering, liberating way.
When I shift my context from “This deal proves I’m failing” to “This deal is teaching me resilience,” the same situation feels radically different.
A practical reflection
Next time something triggers you—a canceled listing, a tough client, an agent quitting—ask yourself:
“What’s the content here? Just the facts.”
“And what’s the context I’m bringing?”
You might be surprised how much of your suffering lives in the context, not the content.
And here’s the magic: when you shift the context, you create a different experience—without needing the facts to change.
For those building businesses and leading teams
Whether you’re an agent or a broker, whether you’re building a coaching business or a team—remember:
- You can’t always control the content.
- But you always have agency over your context.
And the more you practice this, the more power you’ll feel.
It’s not the deal.
It’s not the client.
It’s not the market.
It’s you.
And that’s incredibly good news.
— Danielle Wilkie is the CEO & Co-founder of The Helm. She has been a student of Conscious Leadership and coaching for over 10 years. You can learn more about her here.