Emotions are a constant in our lives, but how we experience and navigate them can be profoundly different depending on our mindset. Have you ever wondered why some emotions feel empowering while others drain you? The answer lies in whether you’re experiencing them “above the line” or “below the line.”
The Line That Changes Everything
Imagine a dividing line. Above it, there’s trust, curiosity, and presence. Below it, there’s threat, fear, and defensiveness. The same emotion can show up in both places, but its impact shifts dramatically based on where you’re operating from.
Anger is a good example. Above the line, it’s a clean, energizing force signaling a need for change or a boundary. Below the line, it turns into blame, judgment, or even resentment. This is true for other emotions too—sadness, fear, and even joy.
Most of us spend our emotional lives below the line. When we’re here, feelings happen to us. They come from external sources: a rude comment, a missed opportunity, or a loved one’s illness. Our minds endlessly loop on the stories behind these feelings, often creating lingering moods that can last days or weeks. It’s natural. It’s human. But it’s also optional.
The Practice of Feeling Fully
Living above the line takes practice, but it’s worth every ounce of effort. Emotions in this space are powerful teachers. They show up as physical sensations that we allow, rather than resist. And when we embrace them fully, they tend to move through us quickly—think minutes, not hours.
Here’s how conscious leaders handle emotions:
- Notice the Sensations: Pay attention to where the emotion resides in your body. Is it a tightness in your chest? A pulsing in your jaw? A fluttering in your stomach? Pinpoint it.
- Welcome the Feeling: Instead of resisting, lean into the sensation. Let it twist, burn, or bubble as it needs. Resisting or intellectualizing only keeps it stuck.
- Stay Present: Keep your awareness on the sensation until it dissipates. This is where meditation can help. Practicing presence during calm moments prepares you to handle more intense emotions when they arise.
Unconscious leaders do the opposite. They move away from their bodies, into their heads, trying to “figure out” or “fix” their feelings. They ask, “Why am I feeling this way?” believing that understanding will give them control. But conscious leaders know better—they let their bodies lead the way.
Matching Expression to Experience
Once you’ve welcomed the emotion, ask: “Does this need expression?” Sometimes, feelings want to be expressed as movement, sound, or breath. For anger, it might be clenching your fists or letting out a growl. For sadness, it might be tears or a deep sigh. The key is alignment—letting the intensity of the expression match the sensation.
Children and animals are great teachers in this regard. They don’t hold back, and they don’t get stuck. Watch how a dog shakes off fear or how a child cries intensely, then moves on. The body knows what it needs. Trust it.
The Wisdom of Emotions
Above-the-line emotions also come with wisdom:
- Anger shows where something needs to stop or change.
- Fear invites you to pay attention and face what’s real.
- Sadness asks you to let go, grieve, or make space for love.
- Joy reminds you to celebrate.
When you welcome emotions, they become allies, guiding you toward a more skillful, connected way of living.
Start Small, Practice Daily
Shifting above the line is a lifelong practice. Start small. Spend a few moments each day noticing your sensations. Practice moving your awareness from your mind to your body. And when bigger emotions arise, you’ll be ready.
The rewards? More aliveness, deeper wisdom, and richer connections. Above the line, life isn’t just happening to you. You’re creating it—moment by moment, feeling by feeling.