I get it.  For years, I felt awkward asking for referrals, so I simply didn’t.  I’m sure I missed out on countless opportunities by not tapping into the power of my past clients and their networks.

Here’s the thing: past clients are low-hanging fruit.  You’ve guided them through one of the biggest transactions of their lives – and if you’re anything like me, you did it with professionalism, care, and results.  But instead of celebrating that success and building on it, I made things harder for myself by chasing new relationships that hadn’t yet seen me in action.  Not strategic. Not necessary.

I coach women all the time who feel the same hesitation around asking for referrals.  At the core, I believe it’s often less about fear of asking and more about how rarely we pause to own the excellence of our work.  We over deliver – and under-celebrate.  And it’s hurting us.

It’s time to shift.

Let’s Reframe the Ask

When was the last time you said no to someone you respected who asked for help?  Exactly.  If we reframe the way we approach referrals – as a simple request for help from people who’ve seen the value of our work – it changes everything.

A powerful way to tap into your past clients is to bring referrals into the conversation from the very beginning.  Chances are, you were introduced to them by a previous client or someone in their network.

At the start of a new client relationship, express your gratitude.  Say something like:  “I’m so grateful that [insert name] connected us. I’ve built my business on word-of-mouth referrals, and it means so much that they trusted me enough to send a friend my way.”  This simple acknowledgment lays the groundwork for a future referral and reinforces the value of relationships in your business.

As the transaction progresses and your client experiences your work firsthand, take time to check in.  Ask:  “How do you feel things are going so far?”  Let them tell you what’s working. Then ask:  “Is there anything I could be doing to make this experience even better for you?”  This creates space for honest feedback and shows you’re committed to growth and excellence.

Then, at the close of the transaction, make your ask:  “It’s truly been a pleasure working with you. As you know, my business is built on referrals, and I’m so grateful [insert name] introduced us. If there’s anyone in your life who could benefit from the same level of service, I’d love the opportunity to help them. Please keep me in mind if you hear of someone thinking about a move.”

If you’ve done your job exceptionally well, the answer will likely be a resounding yes.

Bringing referrals into the conversation throughout the process makes it feel natural – more like friends connecting than a salesperson chasing business.

At the end of the day, asking a friend for help isn’t just about business.  It’s about deepening trust and continuing the relationship beyond the transaction.

Teach them how to refer you

The relationship doesn’t end at the closing table.  If you want to stay top of mind with past clients and encourage them to refer you to friends and family, consistent communication is key.

I’m a big believer in establishing a steady, thoughtful flow of outreach.  This includes a mix of automated, value-driven marketing – like a newsletter featuring local events, a quarterly market update, or an annual home value review – and personalized one-on-one touches, such as a quick call, text, email, or voice note.  These ongoing connections not only keep you top of mind, but also remind your clients of the many ways you can support others.

In your marketing and email signature, consider including a simple tagline like:  

“I’m always honored to be a resource. If you or someone you know is thinking about a move, I’d love to help.” 

 It’s subtle, sincere, and signals that you welcome referrals.

Make it easy for clients to introduce you.  Let them know that you’re happy to be connected via text or email and that you’ll take it from there.  Some people are eager to refer you but prefer to keep their involvement minimal so take that friction out of the process.

By teaching your clients how to refer you and making it seamless, you increase the likelihood that they will.  More importantly, you reinforce your role not just as a great agent, but as a trusted, go-to resource.

Create Raving Fans

Here’s a powerful stat: on average, Americans tell nine people about a good experience.  Imagine how your business would grow if your clients were not only coached on how to refer you, but also had such a standout, memorable experience that they couldn’t wait to tell everyone about it.

I often remind my coaching clients and my team that we do our jobs so well, our clients start to believe a smooth transaction is the norm.  But we know better.  Behind the scenes, we’re solving problems, anticipating challenges, and pulling countless threads together to make it look effortless.

The real magic happens when we go beyond smooth.

Ask yourself: what are the moments that make your client feel seen, understood, and truly cared for?

It’s not just getting the deal done.  It’s curating a tour experience so personalized that the buyer says, “Wow, you read my mind – this is my dream home.”  It’s gifting a custom watercolor painting of the house where their children grew up.  It’s introducing them to the owner of the local restaurant in their new town – who then greets them by name the next time they walk in.

These thoughtful, outside-the-box touches are what turn happy clients into raving fans – the kind who sing your praises and send new business your way for years to come.

Never Forget

A referral from a past client is a true gift – treat it like one.

Always thank your clients when they send someone your way, both at the time of the referral and again when the transaction closes.  Use your judgment in the time between; discretion is key.

One of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received from a client was this: “I trust you completely with my personal information.”  That trust is everything.

Real estate is deeply personal, and any details shared should remain strictly between you and your client.  Let your client be the one to share their real estate news with the friend who referred them.  That respect for privacy reinforces the trust they’ve placed in you – and helps ensure they’ll feel confident referring you again and again.