“I thought getting into real estate would give me more freedom, but I feel like I’m always on. Either I’m running to showings or stuck in my head with thoughts about everything I should be doing to keep my business going. How do I actually make this feel better?”

This landed in my inbox recently, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

Especially with the 4th of July just behind us—a holiday all about freedom—it felt like the perfect time to talk about what freedom actually means… and why so many of us get into this industry chasing it, only to feel more trapped than ever.

I’ve been there.

The irony of getting your license to “be your own boss,” only to feel like everyone else runs your calendar. The endless mental to-do list. The belief that if you just do more, say yes more, push harder—you’ll finally earn the life you envisioned when you started.

But here’s what I’ve learned—through my own experience, through coaching other ambitious women in real estate, and through the lens of Conscious Leadership:

Freedom isn’t a status you unlock. It’s a state of being you choose.

You can be self-employed and still feel shackled.
You can make six figures and still feel stuck.
You can appear “successful” and still feel like your days don’t actually belong to you.

Freedom isn’t about a title, a number, or an open calendar.
It’s not about having no boss.

 It’s not about working from wherever.

It’s about choosing—consciously, consistently—how you want to live.

Default vs. Design

In my summer group coaching program, one theme keeps bubbling to the surface:

Are you living by default… or by design?

Let me break that down:

Default looks like:

• Letting your inbox dictate your day 
• Saying yes to every showing, event, or client request without checking in with your capacity 
• Measuring your worth by how much you’re doing 
• Reacting to everything the moment it comes in 
• Believing “this is just how real estate works” without ever questioning it 

Most Realtors spend 100% of their day in default and don’t even realize it.

They blame the market, the clients, the pace, the pressure—when really, they’ve never been taught how to lead from within. How to consciously choose what’s aligned. How to protect the very freedom they came here to create!

Now let’s look at design:

Design is where everything shifts.

Design looks like:

• Honoring your own schedule like you honor your clients’ 
• Saying yes only when it’s aligned (and saying no without guilt) 
• Slowing down enough to notice when you’re reacting vs. responding 
• Proactively informing your clients how you work and what to expect 
• Redefining success based on your values—not someone else’s playbook 
• Building a business that supports your real life, not one that constantly competes with it 

And most importantly—getting curious about the unconscious beliefs and commitments that are running the show. That’s the Conscious Leadership piece.

Because default isn’t just a behavior—it’s a belief system.
And design doesn’t start with your calendar—it starts with your awareness.

So What Does Freedom Actually Look Like?

For me, it’s less about how many hours I work and more about how I feel while I’m working.

It’s being able to say:

• I’m building my business around my life (not my life around my business)
• I’m fulfilled by everything i choose to work on today
• I trust that aligned action is more powerful than constant motion
• I’m building a life I want to sustain—not one I want to escape 

That’s freedom.

And the beautiful part? You don’t have to wait for a new client, new market, or new year to claim it.

Freedom starts the moment you shift from default to design.

Your Move

Let’s make it real.

👉 What’s one thing you’re doing this week out of default?
👉 And what’s one small choice you could make by design instead?

Pause. Get honest with yourself. Like, right now!

Because no matter what the industry says…You get to choose.

This is your life. Your business. Your freedom.

And you’re more powerful than you’ve been led to believe.

With love,

Kelly

— Kelly Parker is the founder of the Home Collective™ in Chicago, and the creator and coach of Aligned Ambition.  You can learn more about her here.