Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday.

On the surface, it’s all warmth and ritual—family, food, familiar stories told again for the twentieth year. But underneath? It’s a mirror. One of the few times each year where the pace slows just enough for us to see ourselves clearly.

And most years, what I see is this: I am running fast. Too fast. Too often operating from reactivity rather than presence. Carrying more than what’s actually mine. Trying to control what was never in my control in the first place.

It’s exhausting.

Which is why Thanksgiving matters so much as a conscious leadership checkpoint. A moment to ask: How am I leading? And what would shift if I led with more gratitude?

Because gratitude, when practiced consciously, is not soft. It’s not passive. It’s not a seasonal nicety.

It is one of the most powerful ways to move ourselves out of fear, defensiveness, and drama, and back into responsibility, presence, and choice.

Conscious Leadership teaches that we’re either above the line (operating from presence, curiosity and trust) or below the line (reactivity, threat, and righteousness). And the thing that always strikes me is how quickly gratitude can pull us back above the line. One genuine moment of appreciation has the power to melt resistance, loosen our grip on being right, and open the door to possibility. 

Every real estate professional knows what it’s like to live below the line: the client who’s “impossible,” the market that “should not be this hard,” the contract that falls apart after weeks of effort. It’s easy to slip below the line and into Victim, Villain, or Hero without even noticing.

Gratitude interrupts that spiral.

Not in a toxic-positivity way – this isn’t about pretending everything is fine when it’s not – but in a conscious, grounded way. Gratitude helps me shift from “Why is this happening to me?” into “What is this here to teach me?” And that shift is everything. 

It turns a bad inspection report into a lesson about clean agreements. It turns a difficult client into someone who’s unintentionally showing where boundaries needed strengthening. It turns a brutal market into an invitation to lead with more resourcefulness and creativity.

It turns drama into data.

One of my favorite Conscious Leadership tools is the “What’s In Your Control” list. It’s so simple and so humbling. Almost everything we obsess about – other people’s emotions, choices, reactions – lands on the “not in my control” side. And yet we spend an extraordinary amount of time trying to manage exactly those things.

Gratitude reminds me to place my attention on what is mine: my presence, my agreements, my honesty, my self-care, my creative power.

It reminds me that enough of everything begins inside, not outside.

And it reminds me that I am always choosing: who I’m being, how I’m reacting, what I’m honoring, and what I’m avoiding.

There’s something else gratitude does that I don’t hear talked about enough: it reveals the truth about our “yes.” So often it’s easy to give that convenient but not entirely honest nod. When we are in gratitude, it helps us access the information needed for the “full body” yes. Where we can access head, heart and gut to get to the right answer. 

It’s hard to find those yeses when we’re rushed or resentful. But gratitude creates space. And in that space, clarity emerges. The noise dims. The body softens. And suddenly you can tell the difference between “I should” and “I choose.”

This Thanksgiving, gratitude feels less like a list I’ll write and more like a leadership practice I want to recommit to.

A practice of seeing clearly.
Of slowing down enough to feel what’s here.
Of appreciating what and who is supporting my growth (even when I don’t like the form the lessons take).
Of telling the truth.
Of taking 100% responsibility for my life and my leadership.
Of letting go of what was never mine to hold.

Maybe that’s the real gift of Thanksgiving: the pause that lets us return to ourselves.

Because when we lead from gratitude, we lead from presence.
And when we lead from presence, everything is stronger.
Our families feel it. Our clients feel it. Our teams feel it.
Most importantly, we feel it.

This week, maybe we simply start there.